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lost memories, found future

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  I was nervous. I didn’t know what was expecting me despite all the encouragement I was given by all the people around me.  My palms were sweaty and no matter how many times I wiped them off on my jeans, the nerves kept coming and I kept sweating. I tried taking some deep breaths and closed my eyes but it was impossible to stop the anxious thoughts from rising. What if she doesn’t love you anymore? What if she cries and runs away at the sight of you? I shook my head to distract myself from those thoughts and instead, I once again forced my mind to go back to the memories I once had. I imagined the faces that I have seen on the pictures hundreds of times. The smile on their faces, the embrace, the happiness in their eyes. Despite the absence of the memories, I felt the warmth they brought to my being. My conscience self didn’t remember maybe the most important moments of my life and the loss of them would never be less painful but I was ready to desperately fight to make new o...
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dark waters of mine

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  i always thought what was similar to the way i was.  a storm, a forest, a meadow, a sea.. i always thought which one i was and never really had an answer to it.  it made my job harder because it was hard to explain to people what was happening to you without giving them something they were familiar with so that it was easier for them to understand you. i always felt like it was a difficult job to understand me. and i was always sure no one wanted to tackle this difficult job since i could barely manage it myself. but if i had to choose one of the things above to tell you how my thoughts felt like, i would choose the sea. just like the sea, my thoughts and worries had no bounds, i could go on and on in my own head for hours. and just like the sea, my thoughts had moods. most times, they were calm and full of beautiful wonders. just like a sunny day’s sea, they felt warm, nice and familiar. on those days, it was nice to be with my own thoughts because i could navigate thr...
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the table

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He looks dangerous but I can’t somehow force my body to turn away from him. My eyes follow his every move. His every single move is slow, well thought and calculated. He rolls his sleeves back calmly, looking like he already knows the outcomes of this meeting.  I sit there, trying to match to his speed as I cross my legs and lean back on my chair and cross my arms as well. He is not sitting on a chair like the rest of us. Instead, he is walking around the table, still folding his sleeves slowly. He sometimes takes his gaze from his working hands and his eyes glances towards the people around the table.  A small, knowing smirk sits on his lips. I notice how some people that have started to turn their attention away from him, mutter something about getting sick of his little games but my gaze is still fixed on him, my attention is peaked by this foreign man. He doesn’t try to look tough, he doesn’t try to show off, he is not like the rest of the people on this table. He simply m...
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things between us

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  It feels easy with you , you know? as if we were born to do life together. Even with our flaws and differences, our fights and frustrations, through it all, we move in sync. It’s like I get annoyed yet I adore you. You get mad still you are there with me. knowing the purity of our intentions  when it comes to each other makes it impossible to leave the love i see in your eyes  feels like the reflection of mine but i know you i feel loved because it’s me you let me see it you let me feel it it’s not like I am perfect but still you make me feel like I am
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adopted

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A restless night was upon the house. The little girl woke up from her sleep in the middle of the night, almost shaking from the fright her dream brought.  She turned around to see her room lit up slightly from the small night light. She looked around to see if the monster in her dreams followed her into her room and she calmed down as she realized she was alone. But in seconds, she once again started to feel restless as she needed someone else’s company.  She threw her legs over and hopped from her bed. She was careful as to not make a sound. As if her light steps could be heard, she tiptoed to the door. She peeked her head into the hallway. She looked around for a while before she decided to head for the room she had in mind. She did the same thing as she reached the room ; reached the door that was ajar and peeked into the room.  At first, she couldn’t see much as this room was not lit up by a night light but as she tiptoed her way into the room, her eyes adjusted to th...
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most days

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   It was a normal day. It was a day like my most days. I was walking down the road I have always walked. My classes were done for that day and there was still sunlight left to take me home. So I was not rushing, I was just walking. One of my headphones was hanging off my shoulder since I wanted to hear my surroundings. Ambre from Nils Frahm was playing, calming my breathing. I didn’t understand why this pool of people were here. They never were for the 21 years of my life.   Then something happened. Something that was out of my normal. That pool of people were looking somewhere. I did something I normally wouldn’t do ; I joined the crowd and looked what they were looking at. After my eyes saw what everyone was looking at, I corrected myself. They were not looking somewhere, they were looking at someone.    A boy, to be more specific. Maybe around my age, maybe younger. I couldn’t see the details. He was laying down. On top of a building roof that...
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